Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Monday, 27 September 2021

An excursion to the dining room

Not my cat

It's been two weeks since we got back from holiday and I've been resting ever since. Last week I had a short-sharp-shock course of Aciclovir - to try to bring my super-susceptibility to recurrent cold sores under some control - and on Thursday, a nurse came to the house to give me my flu jab (to which, I've had no reaction, not even a sore arm). As on previous occasions that I've had courses of the antiviral, I began to feel a bit more clear-headed and compos mentis.

Yes, an improvement after antivirals. Probably not psychological then!

On Friday, I'd had a long chat on the phone to BF in Australia, so for someone with myalgic encephalomyelitis, these were a couple of "busy days". Otherwise, I'd mostly laid in bed and done relatively little either mentally or physically. 

So, on Saturday, I was daft enough to think I could "eat out". By "eat out", I don't infer getting all togged up in my finery and hitting a Michelin star eatery, I mean, leaving the bedroom and going downstairs to eat at the dining table with him indoors, having had the quickest and most cursory shower first.

Ate my meal (all freshly cooked, from non-processed ingredients) and a fruit-only desert, when suddenly, with no warning, I began to overheat (I'm WAY beyond menopause, so it's not that) began to feel unwell and to grey out (Pre-syncope). At first I couldn't move, but felt like I was going to faint and fall off my chair. As soon as I could, I slid myself down and laid on the cool floor. When it passed sufficiently, I crawled back upstairs to bed on hands and knees.

It left me exhausted and feeling like I was shaking all over from extreme exertion, but with no external sign of shaking. I had a terrible night, sleeping lightly, waking up constantly from vivid dreams, feeling like my brain was shaking inside my head and with a pain in my stomach that was like it'd been kicked.

It's like my system is so fatigued that it can't manage sitting up and digesting simultaneously, possibly exacerbated because I'd had carbs (potato) at both lunch and dinner. I already suffer lactose intolerance and I'm wondering if this is some sort of increased carbohydrate intolerance. Funnily enough, many years ago I'd adjusted my diet to not have carbs more than once a day. It's not always easy to achieve, but I wonder if it may help to be more strict on that. 

All day Sunday, I had no alternative but to stay in bed and was even unable to sit up. I couldn't increase my angle of recline beyond two pillows, because it would increase the pain in my stomach to feel like I was constantly doing sit-ups and would bring on horrendous feverish headaches with nausea. It's no better today. As "being confined to wheelchair for much of the day" infers an ability to sit up, we have to conclude that I'm worse than 80% on this scale. That now puts me into 90% and severe. It's very frightening, because, after consistent worsening over 48 years, there really is only one place left to go and, with no care and no treatments, only one way to prevent going there: avoid everything.

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