Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Monday, 4 July 2011

Monday, 4 Jul 2011

Float before the Bourne Free Parade 2011

Every exertion – however minor, even going to the loo – is making me feel sick and causing me to shake. Each time I stand, I feel faint and overcome with nausea and have to lie down. Neck is grinding painfully.

Tuesday, 5 Jul 2011

Woke up in the early hours with an exhausting and excruciating pain right in the centre of my chest. Couldn’t move. Could feel palpitations that continued, along with some pain and discomfort for most of the day. The fatigue was really crippling. Felt really ill. Had the familiar pain in my lower back (left kidney area) that has always accompanied symptom flares since the time I was rushed to hospital with this pain back in 1995, in Tenerife. The back pain persisted even when I lay down and was acute enough to be completely distracting and make me feel sick. Was so exhausted just from making breakfast that I could not even sit up afterwards. Rested until I had to go out to a dental appointment in the afternoon. Would have preferred not to go out at all while suffering this level of symptoms and, in hindsight, I should have cancelled because the dentist had to stop treatment as I was so unwell and also because the anaesthetic did not take.

Wednesday, 6 Jul 2011

Slept, exhausted, as soon as I got home from the dentist yesterday, but I was awake all night with the pain in my legs from the outing – even though I’d taken taxis at both ends to and from the station because I was so unwell. Now utterly shattered and strung out with all my symptoms flaring.

Thursday, 7 Jul 2011

Couldn’t sleep again all night last night. Assume this is a reaction to the dental anaesthetic, which had contained adrenaline. Dentist had asked me if I’d ever had a reaction to it. I can now say yes. It’s like coke or speed on steroids! Brain is racing and I have a severe headache, which seems to be a likely side-effect. Something else I will need to avoid in future. Also have bad back ache again. Had a counselling session in the afternoon and my mind raced through this and I had trouble focussing or making any sense, so again, in retrospect, I probably should have cancelled.

Friday, 8 Jul 2011

Stiff and in lots of pain after outing yesterday. Should not have attempted walking home, but cannot afford taxis for everything. Also because a thunderstorm has been forecast and the weather has become humid and oppressive again, which always elevates pain levels. However, I slept last night, which was an improvement. Still too ill to do anything except lie down and rest.

Saturday, 9 Jul 2011

Day of the Bourne Free Parade and my first opportunity to do something for mere pleasure in forever. Of course I’m not really up to it, but I was given a seat on a float, so at least I didn’t have to walk. Even so, I was still exhausted after the hour and had to come straight home. Was back by 3pm and fell asleep. Could barely move later to get food. Needed help.

Sunday, 10 Jul 2011

Everything hurts and I am exhausted. It’s a VERY high price to pay just for one hour of enjoyment yesterday. Was not even able to get comfortable lying down. 

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