Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Monday, 18 July 2011

Monday, 18 July 2011

Poole Station
cc-by-sa/2.0 - © Gordon Griffiths -

Crap - in the literal sense - with yet another flare up on the dreaded IBS. Unbelievable pain, whole body spasms and unending “emission” over more than half an hour that left me feeling weak and unwell again. Hip nagging with pain again, so bad that I cannot sit comfortably, even reclining in bed.

Tuesday, 19 Jul 2011

So fatigued today - and I’m sure that yesterday’s IBS attack has had much today with today’s overall symptom increase – that I cannot even recline at any angle and need to lie flat. Feel too weak, feel sick and feel like I will keel over. Not that I can ever sit up, but this is definitely worse than the usual disequilibrium. Feel like a huge weight is pushing me down against the bed and I have no power in any of my muscles. Arms too tired to type. Neck and back hurt.

Wednesday, 20 Jul 2011

Appointment with the Pain Service today, all the way over in Poole, Dorset. Made it clear that none of the distraction techniques they had previously touted do anything whatsoever for my pain. And we agreed that ‘their time would be better spent with others they can help’. Well, obviously, what I really meant was that they’re basically a f*cking waste of my time and energy, but surprisingly, I managed not to say that in those exact words. Besides, the trips to Poole are far too much for me. The irony is clearly lost on them, but the fact of getting to a Pain Service causing pain, just makes it stupid. [Later, when they offered me a place on a course for managing Fibromyalgia – that would have involved daily journeys (way beyond my energy capabilities) and sitting all day, over several days/weeks in a chair (impossible, and I don’t even sit in chairs, at rest, at home), I did spell it out to them very clearly that what they proposed was not suitable for anyone with fibromyalgia, certainly less so for anyone with ME and would amount to deliberate harm and torture. And I told them where to stick it.]

Thursday, 21 Jul 2011

Not enough sleep last night as kept awake by the severe pain, especially in my legs, resulting from the outing to the Pain Service (you see they irony) yesterday. Have a headache and back ache as well as the usual post-exertion flu-like symptoms. Have to lie down and functioning option is not available again. Going out to counselling appointment in the afternoon had a particularly severe physical effect because I started out at such a low level of functioning.

Friday, 22 Jul 2011

Headache. Hips and knees hurt from walking yesterday, but at least I slept for a change – about 14 hours. But I had to go out yet again, this time to the dentist.

Saturday, 23 Jul 2011

Hips and knees hurt after outing yesterday, despite not taking taxis both to and from the station to reduce the exertion. However, my mouth is very sore. This was the treatment that had to be curtailed last time because I was too unwell, so this time I had no choice. My back hurts, and I have extreme fatigue – could hardly stand half way through making breakfast. Rest of day in bed.

Sunday, 24 Jul 2011

Knackered again. Woke up at 2:45am and didn’t sleep again until after 6am. Legs hurt. Headache from lack of sleep and from teeth. Neck pain is particularly bad. Rest of day reclined, supported.