Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Monday, 23 May 2011

Monday, 23 May 2011

Pain in neck increased again. Also very tired and have a sore throat again this morning. Reacted badly to the little activity I did yesterday, sorting stuff.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Only walked to the local Post Office and back yesterday, but woke up with the sore throat, feverishness, headache, pain and spasms in leg muscles that normally come after a much longer outing. Also being stressed out by mother’s constant melodrama and attention-seeking behaviour. Today the world was about to end because her hospital transport hadn’t arrived when she was ready. This was accompanied by highly dramatised exclamations of “Oh, I hope he hasn’t forgotten me” and “What am I going to do?”, while quivering her bottom lip and turning on the crocodile tears. Nothing, you say? Poor old dear, you think? She would want you to believe that I'm the one being unreasonable and unkind. NO. She knows what she’s doing. This is everyday. Besides she was ready ages before she needed to be and the lift wasn’t even due to arrive for some considerable time then, so he wasn’t late, so there wasn’t a problem in the first place. Pointed this out to her, but she feigned (became snotty, nose in the air, refused to respond ...) not being able to understand that logic. And jeez, it’s hard to be sympathetic when she disregards, denies and brushes off my illness and is clearly using these relentless melodramatic outbursts to ‘prove’ – at least in her own head – that she is SO much more unwell and important and deserving of sympathy.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Woke up with sore throat, exhausted and with pain in neck, back hips and legs as if I’d been on a major outing again and I’d only been as far as the local Post Office again yesterday.

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Bad pain and stiffness everywhere as weather turned to rainy and windy. Hurt my wrist trying to get out of bed. Legs barely work. Headache. Counselling appointment in the afternoon and the walk was difficult – not to mention wet - and was glad to come straight back again. Went straight to bed, exhausted.

Friday, 27 May 2011

Pain in hip and neck mostly, along with general stiffness and aches after outing yesterday, as well as exhausted after waking at 5am. Have been waking earlier and earlier lately because of the light mornings, despite blocking the glass above the door and buying a screen. These only help a little. Had to take some more items to the Post Office and do some shopping in the afternoon. Took the bus there – BIG mistake – and taxi back, but this was still exhausting and caused a lot of pain in my legs.

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Shoulders, back and legs all hurt and knees feel swollen. Arms and hands hurt. Writing hurts. Joints all clicking painfully. Headache. Exhausted. Woke up early. Nausea. Coughing, choking and wheezing with tightness and pain my chest again – this latter several times this week, but particularly bad this morning. Pain in my knees is excruciating. Every time I stand up, I feel overwhelmingly sick and have to lie back down again.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Hands, neck and knees were worst affected with pain this morning. Bad attack of IBS again today has put me back in bed with a sore stomach, weak and general malaise, as well as back ache.

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