Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Monday, 7 March 2011

Monday, 7 Mar 2011


Had to get up early, which took supreme effort. Really needed more sleep and found it difficult to get out of bed, but had to take the boy [Balu] back to the vet again. Could not stand at the bus stop and had to sit on the roadside, as I felt dizzy, light-headed and sick. Every step of walking hurt – like a knife stabbing into my hip joint. Got home exhausted with burning pain right down my right thigh. Knees ache. Back feels broken. Neck pain off the scale. Mega headache. Really couldn’t do anything in the afternoon and had to lie down until beyond 7pm. Had to fight to stay awake until a reasonable time to try to avoid starting a cycle of insomnia. Lasted only until 9pm is and couldn’t even concentrate on banal TV.

Tuesday, 8 Mar 2011

Woke up early, long before 8am, though I dozed again, but had slept very lightly all night and woke up with tired, sore eyes and feeling strung out like I’d pulled an all-nighter. Hip pain is unbearable again, as is neck pain, mostly from the cold and the jolting of the bus and just having spent some time not reclined and supported. Knees stiff and sore from the walking yesterday and back still feels broken.

Wednesday, 9 Mar 2011

Lyrica [Pregabalin], which I started on Monday night with just 25mg once a day, rather than the twice a day as prescribed, because of my tendency to to have severe reactions to drugs, totally knocked me out last night. Slept heavier than normal, but had to remove a 10 ton elephant off me before I could move this morning. So, either I can’t function because of pain and poor sleep, or I can’t function because I’m drugged up to the eyeballs. 

GROSS ALERT: Discovered a small piece of loose scab and removed it from inside my navel. This is the first time this raw, sore incision – from a laparoscopy in 1986 - has ever formed a scab in 25 years, which gives you an idea of what I really mean when I say that I heal very slowly.

Thursday, 10 Mar 2011

Slept too heavily last night and woke up in much more pain and stiffness than usual, neck pain particularly. Site of scar on navel VERY sore today and constantly itching.

Friday, 11 Mar 2011

Major attack of IBS this morning with considerable pain. As usual, as soon as I thought I’d finished, along came another ‘contraction’ and off it went again. Was on the loo for 45-60 minutes. This left me feeling weak, exhausted and unwell. Stomach as sore as if it had been kicked and bruised. [As ever, any pain medication causes constipation and my system gets into a vicious cycle of boom and bust and the end result is more pain, not less. It seems a pointless exercise to me.] Tried some ‘easy’ isometric (not moving) exercises for my neck. Kept it to just 3 repetitions, holding just for seconds, but this still caused an awful increase in pain around my neck and shoulders.

Saturday, 12 Mar 2011

Felt crap again [pun intended]. Had to get up in the night, but also woke up too early, despite still being very tired. Can’t stop yawning. Joints stiff and painful. Hip burning. Dizzy every time I stand up.

Sunday, 13 Mar 2011

Pretty crap again. Weather humid, so stiffness increased, stabbing pains in joints, as well as their usual soreness. Headache and pain in left kidney that always resurfaces any time I’m particularly tired.

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