Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Monday, 10 January 2011

Monday, 10 Jan 2011

Not my cat in not my carpet

Not the best of days and not the worst either. Got 7 hours sleep and was up at 8am, which almost gave me the idea that I could have a productive day, but did not feel well enough to go out and cancelled appointment to go to a group in the afternoon. I know I felt too crap even to write this diary on the day, and now I can’t remember what I did, so it cant have been at all memorable Did arrange doctor’s appointment for Friday to discuss the Gabapentin.

Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011


Didn’t get to sleep until 4am, but slept until noon. Got my 8 hours then! Cats not terribly pleased to be getting breakfast at lunch time though. Nevertheless, I’d felt particularly bad hip pain even while I was still lying in bed. This didn’t get any better (and probably heralds rain). Also my knees are painful and stiff, clicking badly if I straighten my legs, in the same way as they’d be after a long walk. Thus, yet again, didn’t think it the best idea to grovel on all fours to clean the carpet. It will have to wait again. Was able to do some stuff on computer and watch some TV. On the other hand, just writing this is making my hand hurt again. Put off going to Spanish Circle for yet another month because I didn’t feel up to it.

[A combination of cheap quality fitted carpet (not mine) and a hoover that doesn't work (this is denied) mean that cat hair (my fault, of course) has to be removed by hand, with a brush, on hands and knees. It is ridiculous and torture.]

Wednesday, 12 Jan 2011


Hum mm … hump day and another, where, obviously, I had neither the energy nor the motivation to write this [diary] on the day. Slept from 03:45 to 10:30am, which is still not sufficient to be able to confront the day with any reserves.

Thursday, 13 Jan 2011


Only 5 hours sleep meant I started the day wired and tired and everything just went down hill from there, as there was no way to find either the energy or the motivation to do even the simplest of tasks. Started a few, but finished none, so gave up to watch [loose term for it was on, not that I was really focussed on it] yet more banal TV, and anyway, there wasn’t anything even remotely interesting on. This is no existence, let alone life! Got 3 hours sleep in the evening – fell asleep watching TV – woke up at 10:30pm and wasn’t able to go back to sleep again until 3:30am, despite being too tired to actually do anything.

Friday, 14 Jan 2011


As always when I wake up in the middle of the night and therefore get sleep in more than one block, I woke up feeling as though I hadn’t slept and was done in even before I began. Had to do some photocopying and printing and just this minor exertion and need to be vertical caused me dizziness, nausea, extreme sweating and pronounced shaking. Had an appointment with my doctor. She repeated my prescription for Venlafaxine and prescribed Pregabalin (Lyrica) instead of the Gabapentin. Posted and got a certificate of posting for supporting documents for my DLA application. Delivered some forms by hand elsewhere. Got a few items of shopping and collected prescriptions. Walking got slower and slower and more painful. Even shop assistants noticed that I was exhausted. Yet another headache. Hip pain off the scale. Pain in lower legs. Pain in back. Neck needs support because of the pain. Usual symptoms after an outing.

Saturday, 15 Jan 2011


Seven hours sleep – from 3:30am to 10:30am – isn’t terribly deficient, but still woke up beyond tired, with very little energy with which to confront the day. Otherwise [surprisingly after an outing]  didn’t feel too bad – that is until I took my medications. Then I began to feel sick and dizzy. Had to get a stool as I couldn’t stand to make dinner. Was asleep by 8:30pm, because I was too exhausted and felt too unwell to do anything else. Will be glad to wean off the Gabapentin, because it has only done harm and certainly no good whatsoever.

Sunday, 16 Jan 2011


Woke up at 1am and couldn’t get back to sleep until 6am. Simply couldn’t get comfortable as hip pain was spreading down and round the top of my thigh with a herpes-like tingling and burning right down to the bone. My knees felt swollen and stuck as well as painful. My lower legs hurt. The skin on my right foot is so painfully sensitive I can’t even put it down on the sheet. It is utter hell. Consequently, I am exhausted again today before I start. 

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