CHAOSTOCOSMOS

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Humor - I Don't Do Mornings

I Don't Do MorningsBy Duncan Kelly

Some people are morning people. They get up before the sun rises and they go for a run around the local golf course, scaring the bird trying to get the first worm. They get back home for breakfast and have a shower. Then they catch up on all their letter writing and birthday cards. After making a few calls and concluding a few deals, they toddle off to work, arriving 20 minutes early.

I don't do mornings. The alarm clock is like the sword of Damocles hanging over my slumber. It's strident clamour heralds the death of my dreams and the destruction of the land of Nod. I hit the sleep button and scrape another few minutes of sleep from the desolation of another workday. The inevitable moment arrives: if I delay one more minute I will be seriously, noticeably, late for work. After chucking on some mismatching clothes, (because my eyes are still stuck shut with sleep) I stumble off to work, eventually waking up about an hour after getting there.

Morning people don't believe in the existence of non-morning people. They think we are either mad or lazy liars. But go and pick up a morning person for a call out at 7pm and then the boot is on the other foot. They yawn expansively as they get in the car, they mutter incoherent sentences, and only your terrible driving keeps them from sleeping for the remainder of the 3 hour trip. They look at you in awe as you drive on through the night, and cannot believe that your are still wide awake and alert at 2 in the morning. they think you are some kind of freak, but they are impressed none the less.

Yup, we night people can keep going as long as we have to. We don't do mornings, but we do do nights. Morning people doodoo nights! When the world is sleeping, we go on working, quietly achieving and prevailing where others would fall down and sleep. We are the epitome of the long life battery, as we keep on keeping on through long nights.

Night people are often unseen, like the long haul train driver, the night flight airline pilot, the technician on a call out, the night watchman. But don't ask us to get up early. That is being cruel. Our bodies are not designed for early morning activity. A morning run would kill us, and doing anything financial before 9am would be a fast road to bankruptcy. Writing a birthday card would lose a friend and create an enemy!

So if you're a morning person, spare a thought for your yawning colleague. He's not lazy. He's not crazy. He's just not in the right time zone.

More humor and a free SQUEAKY CLEAN JOKES page at:
The WrinklyO Web Node at http://wrinklyo.googlepages.com
Pamela is a former accountant, recovering journalist and international cat herder, disabled and chronically sick with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Fibromyalgia and Cervical spondylosis, fluent in three languages; English, Spanish and Rubbish. Mostly writes in the latter. She likes Genealogy, Model Railways and Cats.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
^ Top