CHAOSTOCOSMOS

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

For the last couple of days I've had a new pain (yeah, like I don't have enough already), this time, under my left tit: the larger, more droopy, more fibrocystic one of the two. It's a duller pain than "stitch" in your side, but this morning it was winding me and taking my breath away. On the outside, it feels like a nasty bruise to a rib. Now it's spread around to my back and is a nausea-inducing pain on the back of my ribcage, below my shoulder blade, that feels as if I've been punched there.

My lower back and neck both already ache so much that I'm having to prop myself up with a mountain of pillows, supports, inflatable neck cushion, etc. And I'm just tired, drowsy and listless.

Yesterday afternoon, my thigh muscles tightened into knots and ceased up again. My legs were reluctant to move, my knees became painful and sore and it felt as though my femurs had been replaced with rods of burning dry ice. This is nothing at all unusual: it comes and goes, but is a lot more frequent and painful in the UK. Usually it isn't a painful problem until I go outside in the cold though.

This is all on top of the near unbearable, constant pain in my hip.

Another problem I've had for a long time has been getting worse recently too. Back when I lived in the UK before, which started when I was a kid, but got much worse when I lived in Birmingham in the 80's and early 90's, was a pain in the palm of my left hand when it was cold that I can only describe as feeling like it's having the crucifiction nail driven through it. Never once had that problem in Tenerife, mind you.

Ever since I got back to the UK, this pain has constantly increased, along with the development of another new pain in my left wrist, arm and shoulder that I can only assume is carpel tunnel syndrome (it puzzles me why the left is more badly affected, when I am right handed, but I've given up trying to find logic in these ills.) Over the last few weeks, this has suddenly increased even more - it was already limiting my typing to 15 -30 minutes a day - and over the last few days, even when I'm not cold and not doing anything with that hand, the pain shoots and throbs right through it.

Now my right hand is starting to "complain" (with stiffness and aches) about excess mouse use.

In the last 24 hours, I've been making a concerted effort to avoid deliberately making my joints click when they feel tight, achy and as if swollen, since reading that it could make matters worse. I did it, almost involuntarily, because, although painful at the time, it did bring some relief. Instead, I try gently stretching the affected limb, but it has had the effect of making me feel all the more stiff, achy and decrepid. The only other help will be to take more warm showers.

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