CHAOS TO COSMOSThe path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Another foggy day

With fibromyalgia and myalgic encephalomyelitis, some days the pain is the worst symptom, others it's the fatigue and on others, it's the lack of brain capacity or fogginess. (Fibro Fog and ME/CFS Brain Fog)
Fibro fog: A type of cognitive dysfunction reported by many people with fibromyalgia. Also sometimes referred to as brain fog, its symptoms include difficulty with concentration, memory deficits, and confusion. The reason for the changes in brain function with fibromyalgia is not clearly understood.
Every symptom on it's own is enough to hamper functioning and I really couldn't say which is the worst, but the fog certainly gets top marks for frustration. All day today, I've found myself - more than usual - going to another room and forgetting why I was there. I've had real problems concentrating on anything. And despite knowing I'm doing this, I've been unable to shake it.

Worse yet, I'll be doing something in one tab of the browser, switch tabs and wonder WFT I went there for! I'll be doing something like saving a link and a nano-second later, I can't remember if I have saved it yet or not. I'll think of the next thing I want to do, click through to my bookmarks or startpage or wherever from where I can access it directly (and do so regularly) and, once again, in the split second it took me to click there, have forgotten what the hell I wanted to do!

The sheer frustration of having to backtrack and search the brain cells for such simple information, so frequently, is so hard to describe. Wanting to do something that should be super easy, but not being able to will myself forward towards achieving it is immense. Yet I'm doing most of what's recommended already.

What worries me is that when I've had frustrating bouts like this before, just as overdoing physical exercise does not gradually increase tolerance but causes me to hit the brick wall earlier and harder, so trying to think beyond the fog's limited visibility tends to cause a brain crash, where my brain stops and capacity for thinking ceases up and becomes impossible. I hope this does not imply an impending bad crash / relapse, but sadly usually it does.

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