Chaos to Cosmos
The path from chaos to cosmos was discovered by telling one's life story

Friday, 24 October 2008

Phuking with Physics

Or the tail of two teapots

Two teapots, different shapes, but I think you can see that the yellow teapot on the left (mother's) is at least as big as the white one (mine). Actually, her yellow pot holds a little bit more, I know, because I've tested them.

My little pot on the right, is just big enough to hold two mugs' worth, while my mother swears that her teapot is only big enough for a mug and a half and when I pointed out that this was a load of old bollocks, she started to argue, saying the mugs were different sizes. They're not, but that's irrelevant.

Logic and scientific laws out the window: Mary Poppins' carpet bag and Dr. Who's Tardis, obviously, determine the rules of physics here!

Of course, I should merely accept without question my mother's unscientific fantasy imaginings, call in the men in white coats (for both of us) and leave it at that. :) And, of course, you know there was no way I would do that, so I wasted my time today while she was out, testing them both "scientifically"; filling each pot with water, then pouring that water into a measuring jug.

Using this scientific method, my findings indicated that:
  • My white pot holds a mere 3/4 pint.
  • Her yellow pot holds 1 pint exactly.

Theory proven, I think! Yes, I know, this is a complete and utter, total waste of water, time and energy; yours, mine, hers. It's also so absolutely 'effin pathetic it defies description. Why the hell does anyone need to come up with fantasy untruths, even over such pointless, insignificant matters as this?

And why do we have to have two teapots in the first place?

Well, of course, I have to be the awkward cuss, because I don't like "ordinary" tea (never have done, which should be no surprise, because for the 16 years she visited me in Spain, she bought her own teabags with her, because she knew I wouldn't have any), but I'll drink Earl Grey and other unusual teas.

Had to remind her yet again that I don't like "normal" tea (I also avoid it for health reasons), which she reacted to with a tantrum and snarky comments, as if I'd personally attacked her, so I'm certain this was willful "revenge".

Before I bought my teapot, I'd make a cup of Earl Grey (not the cheapest) and to eek another cup out of the teabag (I'm poor), I'd lay the teabag in a spoon, neatly, on the chopping board, near the kettle, just for a few minutes. This is EXACTLY what my mother does (only she leaves hers anywhere on the worktop), when she often can't be bothered to make tea in the pot.

But when I go back to make my second cup of tea, I find that the teabag is gone, the spoon is gone, having been washed up; everything's wiped down, put away, cleared up. Time, after time, after time ... because she's thrown the teabag in the bin, because she says she thinks it's rubbish.

These teabags were something I'd bought with my own very meagre money. Can you imagine the massive deal she'd make of it if I threw out something of hers?

Given that she does this herself, you'd think she would be capable of working it out or realise that if it were trash I'd know where the trash can is and how to place items in it. Do I need to spell this out? It's deliberate provocation.

When the men in white coats do come for me and when I do finally and totally lose it, hopefully, these posts will show how much provocation I had! No, of course, it isn't just the annoyance with the tea, it's that something of this kind, something she must disagree with and causes me stress and requires me to explain and justify myself (for no good reason), happens every single day.

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