CHAOSTOCOSMOS

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

50 reasons cats are better than men ...

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1. Cats clean themselves everyday.
2. A cat matures as it grows older.
3. Cats rarely miss the litter box.
4. Cats don't hog the covers in bed.
5. Cats are inexpensive.
6. Cats listen to your problems without interrupting.
7. Cats eat out of one bowl and don’t leave lots of dishes around the house.
8. Cats leave very few whiskers in the sink.
9. Cats comfort you when you are sick.
10. Cats don’t leave the toilet seat up.
11. At least when they sleep all day they don’t take up the whole couch.
12. Cats won’t crush your legs when they sit on your lap.
13. Cats keep your ears warm at night.
14. Unlike a man, a cat can fend for itself.
15. Cats do not drink beer.
16. If a cat gets lost, at least it has a tag on it to tell whoever finds it where it lives.
17. A cat is loyal.
18. There’s a better chance of finding a cat that is willing to read a book that doesn’t have any pictures.
19. Cats always greet you when you get home.
20. A cat’s idea of a good time is a game of string and a good belly rub.
21. Cats don’t come with in-laws.
22. A cat won’t steal anything but your glasses, your golf balls, and your heart. 23. Cats drink less and snuggle more.
24. Each of a cat’s nine lives is worthwhile.
25. A cat can’t write checks.
26. Cats can entertain themselves.
27. Cats are more attractive when they run around naked.
28. Cats like to watch “ER” more than a football game.
29. You can have an intelligent conversation with a cat.
30. Cats actually think with their heads.
32. “Meow” is never a lie.
33. Cats are more likely to be up to date on their shots.
34. They will both stand outside your door and whine indefinitely, but a cat will stop if you let it in.
35. Cats will never use up the last of your shampoo and then complain that it was the wrong kind.
36. Cats seldom go bald with age.
37. If a cat fixes your car brakes, it will do it correctly.
38. If cats don’t kow how to do something, they are more likely to admit it.
39. A cat might bring you household vermin as a present, but never “sexy lingerie.”
40. Most cats don’t like to drive, so you don’t have to worry about them crashing your car.
41. Cats won’t leave you waiting by the phone.
42. To buy a fancy dinner for a cat, you only need to spend 53 cents.
43. A cat’s friend is more likely to be less annoying.
44. Cats won’t leave a ring in your bathtub.
45. Cats can’t say, “I love you” without meaning it.
46. Cats are ALWAYS cute.
47. The only things cats expect you to “put out” are food, water, and a clean litter box.
48. When you leave a cat alone in the house, you know it won’t invite friends over for beer and pretzels.
49. Cats know what kindness is.

And last but certainly not least:

50. Men are sometimes pigs or asses, but cats are always cats.

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