CHAOSTOCOSMOS

Friday, 9 May 2008

Wrap up: What's left to eat?

128296214217657500imonurrefrig.jpg Moar crazy cat pics

So, if you've been waiting for the punch line of this joke, or the conclusion of this food series that says, look, here's the tasty and interesting stuff, forget it!

Nuts!What is one permitted to eat for snacks between meals, when you're hungry, for instance? Once you've subtracted all the nice things you're told to avoid, I boil it down to; dried fruit, fruit, a glass of water and a few nuts (and I will be am!) Walnuts are among the top foods for fighting cholesterol, they say. Just a pity they're not among my top food favorites.

Shitake Mushrooms came top on the list of cholesterol fighting foods, did you notice? On the other hand, note that should be spelled Shiitake and definitely not be SHIT TAKE as you'll find in the market in Santa Cruz, nor Shit Ache as Catherine Tate would have them. The last two versions are the best, I reckon, because let's face it, you couldn't take all this healthy eating stuff too seriously, because if you actually thought about what's left to eat (not a lot), you'd cry.

Admittedly, I feel better when I eat this healthily, but it does take willpower.

Speaking of shit (and, I admit, I'm probably full of it) ...

There's one "good" thing I've noticed already. I'd been very careful not to eat too much (increasing my intake of fruit instead) since giving up smoking, but my system (for it's own reasons) became "sluggish" and, despite my efforts, I was becoming something of a bloated lardarse. Well, the change in diet this last month or so has had the effect of, er, speeding up waste production.

(There's another curious thing, for all you doubters of the effects of "second-hand smoke" (I was), my cats got fat too when "we" gave up smoking.)

How to shed extra pounds down the loo at lightening speed: If you really want to purge your system, so to speak, eat porridge for breakfast, sweetcorn with your lunch, oh, I think there was a kiwi fruit in there for pudding, a ration of three bean salad for tea and some dried apricots for a nighttime snack.

Don't bank on going anywhere other than the bathroom the next day! :)

Yes, I did accidentally manage to do that! Actually, I do feel better; lighter and less bloated (I don't have scales or a full-length mirror), but a couple of local ladies I was chatting with the other day said I look like I've lost weight too. Then I went and ruined my new found confidence by wearing a pair of just washed jeans and finding it difficult to bend in the middle again. But I do think things are moving in the right direction and this diet seems to suit me.

A personal thing I found (whether this is linked to my extreme dislike of the tasteless crap, or any real intolerance to it, I can't say), but I found I really could not get along with skimmed milk. My stomach blew up and ached right away, so I've eliminated it and gone back to the pretend soya variety.

I'll let you know if the diet seems to be making any other improvements.

Audience participation time: Apart from this, I'm saving what look to be suitable recipes (with proviso that; I am not an expert, some assembly required, your mileage may vary, etc.) to the food tag in my del.icio.us account, so if anyone else is looking for this stuff, feel free to enjoy the buffet.

On the other hand, if you have any suggestions, share them please.

Pamela is a former accountant, recovering journalist and international cat herder, disabled and chronically sick with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Fibromyalgia and Cervical spondylosis, fluent in three languages; English, Spanish and Rubbish. Mostly writes in the latter. She likes Genealogy, Model Railways and Cats.

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