Thursday, 6 March 2008

How to stick one on your customers

... greatly insult them and make them hate you even more. Unelco, the monopoly that purveys occasional electricity in the Canary Islands, today sent me a credit note, a list of six "incidences" during 2007 and a letter explaining that it has been decreed that customers who had suffered a certain level of interruptions during last year are to receive compensation.

Hurray, you say? Well, not so friggin' fast ... You don't get real money, of course. The credit note says that the amount is to be discounted from the next bill, (so they can go on earning interest on it, presumably.) And the dumbshits could have earned interest on a whole lot more money if they hadn't wasted it on sending customers three whole A4 printed pages of chopped down trees, not to mention the cost of the unnecessary postage, because they could have just put this in with that next bill that they're deducting it from.

The frequent power cuts are less trouble than when electricity shorts, going off and then on again, repeatedly, or when it returns with a surge, both of which always cause damage to appliances.

The last time this happened, it fried a phone, but I've lost count of the TV's, stereos, videos, coffee machines, phones, computers ... that have "mysteriously" given up the ghost after power cuts.

Who's going to pay for these? Not them, of course, because going to their offices (repeatedly) to make reclamations they are sure to disallow, always cost more than the appliance is worth.

So, you wanna know what is the vast sum of "compensation" I'm going to receive for the five "computable incidents" (No sorry, one was a Fuerza mayor / Major Force / Act of God and therefore not payable. Although, as an atheist, I wish to claim exemption / entitlement), i.e. power cuts of between 2 hours and 4.5 hours in 2007 was? Bear in mind that I've been on the island since 1992 and this compensation was as a result of something established in 2002, however, this is the very first time we've been compensated at all (yet I've never had an electricity bill under 100 euros) and, compared to prior years, 2007 really wasn't that bad.

They're allowing me a whole 4.34 euros - about £3.30. In Total.

They're having a fucking laugh, aren't they?

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