CHAOSTOCOSMOS

Wednesday, 7 September 2005

Catastrophe Befalls

image Anyone who has followed Garfield for the last 27+ years will already know a few thousand ways that a cat can seriously annoy a human. Add one more ...

When I rented this house it came with furniture. I also have my own furniture, so a lot of what can't be shoe-horned into the rooms is stored out in the covered back patio that doubles as the utility room plus cat canteen and conservatory.

One of those things is my set of dining chairs. They are nice, sturdy chairs, apart from the seats, which, once upon a time, used to be raffia. I bought them because I love them as they are pretty much identical to the chairs you find in almost every Greek cafe. However, they are not the best thing to have in a house full of fur people who just have to have something to vent their frustrations and sharpen their claws on. So, the chairs are now seatless - and this is an important point - until, one day, I plan to take them to a nearby carpenter to have wooden replacements made to fit.

Actually, the carpenter is a dream of a little "no job too small" place and everything is still made by hand. A while back I had them make me a piece to extend my desk. It was nicely made to measure and neatly finished in the time it took me to have a coffee in a nearby bar. Total cost under $4! You can see why I plan to go back.

So in the meantime, these skeleton chairs are laid on top of the wardrobe that doubles as the animal food storage cupboard. And, cats being cats, they are apt to jump up there to see if they can make an aerial assault on the contents.

Lesson #1 - Look up before you open cupboards.

As I opened the cupboard door as they lined up at feeding time, down falls one of the chairs that the little buggers had dislodged. No damage was done - to the chair - as it fell to the concrete floor, because something had broken it's fall midway.

My head mostly ... and my shoulders ... and my back.

I am bruised and hurt everywhere and had to spend most of the day lying flat.

Of course, it could have been a LOT worse, if the chair had the extra weight of a seat, or broke a bone or knocked me out. Or, heaven forbid, killed me!

I can handle the idea of being mauled to death by cats (well almost) - I expect a bit of that and have the scars to prove it - but I didn't expect to get bruised and battered as they stand by and watch while I cuss and scream in pain. And I swear they giggled.

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